我是一个孩子的妈妈，在广告界打拼。对产品了解不多，但也知道得不少。
这是我在儿子换１２３奶粉时做的成份比较。如果你不知道哪个奶粉“好”，也怀疑广告的承诺，那么拿这个去问医生／营养师看看你的孩子需要什么营养吧！
其实我看来看去每个牌子都相差无几。天知道多给的奶粉钱是去了哪里？
有些注明红色因为我觉得比较其他奶粉，多得有点太奇怪了－如果是重要成份其他牌子应该会有，如果不重要那要那么多干嘛？
(there are 3 images below. To view image, right click & view image, or "ctrl+plus" sign to enlarge screen view)
Only at the end age 34, I realised I do not have enough insurance coverage... by accident.
I thot I have bought something (indeed I bought some insurance) but it is an endowment with no critical illinesses coverage. So which means if I die today, my son got a mere sub RM40,000 and nothing else, if I were to be dignosed with critical illnesses, I got no insurance money except to rely on my savings...
That's sound very dangerous isn't it?
So what do I do? I went to find some insurance plans and needless to say, the oprtions are daunting. Ah, I mean I only compared 2 Insurance companies...
The first question agents always asked:"how much coverage do you want?", or "what budget do you have?" or "what do you want in your life"?
....errrr
Honestly, like buying clothes, I don't know. Maybe I need to see the clothes & to weigh the quality, the price and the value then only I can tell. More so as this is an insurance commitment of a life time, I think I need to do some research...
So how much do you think you need - in worst case senario
I asked about treatment of terminal cancer (in private hospital)
RM8000 a dose of chemo - until you die. Let's say if you can prolong your life for additional 6 months, so I guess RM48,000 in total if chemo is a monthly thing (but I don't think so)
RM4000 per treatment with medicine (and 2 treatments a month), RM96,000 a year if you can survive that long
I overheard at hospital few years back from those had kidney problem
RM2000 dialysis per month, RM25,000 a year
And that is only medical fee.
If you die, how much do you think your family need in order to survive?
With schooling kid?
If I don't die but lose my ability to work... and a family to feed
If I don't die but needs medical care for the rest of my life... and a family to feed
Oh no, I think I need a million ringgit then! Indeed.
Insurance agents advise to use your annual income x 3. That enough for your family to survive for 3 years (maybe a little longer if the family has less members because i died 
). But what happens on the 4th year?
Without a clue... so it ended up with 4 sessions of discussions with 2 different agents, and more than 8 different plans... Hmm... I hope they don't hate me for shopping and comparing and evaluating and requoting and asking a lot of questions...
But there is some important learnings about insurance that I feel obliged to share:
1. Investment-linked insurance can fetch very high coverage at low and "fixed" premium but at the age of around 54-55, you may receive letter from insurance co. citing your premium is not enough to pay for the coverage. You choose to top up or terminate your coverage. But bear in mind at 50 onwards, it is the critical age that prone to illnesses. So do be clear on this.
2. Optimise your co. medical insurance coverage if your co. do provide one. Utilise the flexibility of investment-linked insurance to complement & adjust your coverage as and when needed.
3. Traditional life insurance charges a premium but protection increases as you age. Normally you can get back higher than your premium paid surrender value if you surrender after 15 years or so.
4. Found some good blogs explaining traditional insurance vs. Investment-link insurance, good read (simple explanation for dummies)
http://kclau.com/insurance/investment-linked-vs-traditional-insurance/
http://www.meshio.com/index.php/2006/05/investment-linked-insurance-policy-an-overview/ (and read all the related links)
OK.
At the end of today, after the 8 quotations, I still have not decided yet.
But the good thing is I am finally clear on what I want.
I need to protect my son for 23 years until he is independent, if I die or are ill.
I need to protect myself for 35 years with medical fee (if I can live that long) so that it won't be a burden to my family.
I need to make sure I have some money to enjoy life, or to live in old folk home if I don't die after my son is independent. I really do not want him to worry about me but to see me enjoying my retired life.
So it means when we buy insurance, we need not only think about coverage but also savings. Bad things do not always happen.
I told one of the agent that I will buy a traditional plan, he suggested for the same amount of money, why not I invest on the maximum coverage? Insurance is about coverage, if I want savings, I should go for retirement or other savings plan?
I totally disagree. It is true in terms of investment but not true in terms of REAL protection.
If we only have a fixed limited amount to spend every month, the best is to strike a balance between coverage & savings.
What if nothing really happen to me? At the age 60, I have used all my disposable income during my working years on insurance that does not give much return, but I can only get the return when I die (well I don't get it literally). What do I survive on if I don't die (yet)? Depend on my kid(s)? What if my children are not dependable? Or I do not want to burden them?
Thinking of spending all my available budget each month on plan that gives me nothing but probably will spoil my kid when I die... I am honestly hesitating.
I would split my budget between a traditional life insurance - that gives me increased protection and returns if I surrender my policy at the age of 60 or so, and an investment-linked insurance (with PA & medical) - that gives me maximum protection throughout my critial life (when my kid needs me most) with no return expectation.
So in any of the above listed scenarios, I think I would be well-protected - despite maybe partially.
Now I go study the remaining of the insurance plans.
:-)
我们常常觉得绝对的东西，都不外是因为我们活在社会的规范当中。我们是这样被养大的，这样被教育着的，就认定事情的定律都应该是这样的。
无意中发现中国有一个地方叫摩梭(Mosuo)，真正的女儿国，女系社会，没有父亲，没有丈夫，女人当家的社会。
摩梭是没有婚姻制度的，他们叫走婚 -- 白一点就是男女看上了，男的晚上就到女家上床，天亮就回家。合就继续来往，不合就换人，也没人给你白眼。有了孩子，归女方，男的都不必负责（天呀！很多男人高兴死了），但他们都照顾自家姐妹的孩子。
我看了就觉得很神奇！
如果很多结婚有孩子却怕离婚的女人到了那个社会，问题好像就没有了。
如果我们都能看得那么开的话，很多家庭问题也不存在了。
我看了很想到那里旅行。
我老公看了很想去做摩梭的男人。。。
I went for lasik pre-check & was told I have minor astigmatism on my right eye. I knew this a couple of years ago, but I didn't exactly know what visual disparity that I was experiencing with this.
So I was told that someone with astigmatism will see light as glare & starbursts. I tried to recall the visual that I see but serious I didn't recall any.
I confirmed the very same night, I do see glare & starbust!
So it looks like this. This is not what the normal eyes will see? Oh no!
I wasn't shocked but rather surprised to realise for what I have seen so far is actually "abnormal". It is absolutely normal to me. It is bizzare to me that human being can get so used to abnormality that we don't realise its existence, or we don't realise what is not normal.
Astigmatism is abnormality. We should correct it because a default eye (when born - of course with exception) doesn't see light like this. But what physical harm does it has on my vision if I were not to correct it?
For how many things in life are abnormal but we are living with it. And how many things are there in life are normal but we are trying to dispute it?
A male is born as a male, so transexual is an abnormality. This is perceived as an abnormality because he is changing the default, or design of God. A man normally wears pants but if he wears skirt, he becomes abnormal. However, this abnormality is not by default but by standard of society / human being.
If we can dispute the normality & live with astigmatism, more so we need to be more open to abnormality that defined by social standard. Afterall who am I to define the standard?
To realize the value of a sister/brother Ask someone who doesn't have one.
To realize the value of 10 years, ask a newly divorced couple.
To realize the value of 4 years, ask a graduate.
To realize the value of 1 year: Ask a student who has failed a final exam.
To realize the value of 9 months: Ask a mother who gave birth to a stillborn.
To realize the value of 1 month: Ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby....
To realize the value of 1 week: Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of 1 minute: Ask a person who has missed the train, bus or plane.
To realize the value of 1 second: Ask a person who has survived an accident.
Time waits for no one. Treasure every moment you have. You will treasure it even more when You can share it with someone special.
To realize the value of a friend or family member: LOSE ONE.
(I received this from viral email)
我是不是贤妻实在不敢讲，但女人要做好本份 - 生孩子煮饭洗衣是应该的，做得好不好是其次。
赚钱是我们的能力，不是本份，所以再多的钱也是我们的 (男人不要虎视眈眈)!
男人的本份是赚钱养家，做不好的话我们可以分担。但因为我们分担了男人的本份，男人就应该没有怨言的抹地、洗厕所、照顾孩子。
Men are providers and protectors. Women are nurturers and supporters.
This is golden rule. I have no complaint executing the roles entrusted by God.
However, women have since evolved & becoming providers today.
But the society has yet to evolve. Despite being the providers, we generally still expect the women to nurture & support.
I have a friend, when he was single, he swore to marry a woman with a degree, so that they share the same wave length & are competible. Eventually he did marry one. But later he complained about having endless arguements with the wife, because she always has opinions, she is not docile enough.
I always wanted a job that is less stressful, less weekend work, less stayback nights & more managerial tasks. After a while, I think it is boring, there are too much routine, there is not much learning.
The same good things sometimes are not going to be the same when the circumstances changed, or when we have too much of it.
Maybe life is a paradox.
Maybe we have to learn accepting the whole package of what we are getting.
I have experience working with few direct superiors. Not that I had changed many jobs (only once in the past 10 years), but I had many superiors changed.
Over the years, I noticed there is a distinct difference between them - not between Mars & Venus, but between the "yellow & white".
Being Asian, we are not used to complementing people, and not used to be complimented. I don't have memory of my parents complimented me for my academic or co-curriculum achievements. I grew up believing that I'd never be good enough, so I have to always try harder.
At work, my Asian superiors were generally more reserved. As a superior myself, I adopted their style (and my parents' style) as well. I found it's hard to mouth the little "good" word if it is not 100% satisfactory. It is so fake & insincere to compliment if I'd have to force the word out of my mouth. So I'm rather be sincere than complimenting generously. I also believe that by pointing out the wrongs and weaknesses, people will know & improve. So we don't compliment but criticise with hope that this helps people to improve.
In my very first encounter with my white boss, there were goose bumps raising all over my body! It was a cultural shock to hear the word excellent! Brilliant! - Yikes! I didn't really like those adjectives.
After a few encounters, it was funny that I started to classify his adjectives & pair with those from the Asian superiors:
Well, back to the point, it is not about the notion of their adjectives. It is the impact of it.
I started to realise how much I have been groomed & improved, personally & professionally with the compliments (maybe also with opportunities).
I used to be timid, always hesitating & unsure, I was seriously lack of confidence. I did feel defeating at times, nothing much that I had completed were considered good (or being recognised as good). I felt that I was not good, I was incompetent. It took years for me to realise that I could be good, or I'm good - thanks to the generous (or exaggerated) compliments. I realised it works miracle.
When we perceive we are good, part of our arrogance pushes us to try, to achieve, and to strive for better. We set a higher standard for ourselves, because we are supposed to be good! Unknowingly, we improve when we are more daring, and when we have confidence. I see that's how it worked on me.
I used to believe that criticism brings improvement.
Obviously, it needs a rethink. Compliment brings improvement.
When we were little girls, we didn't like to play with boys. We resisted to be associated with them. When we grew a little bit older, we started to get obsessed with boys. Later, we fell in love with one (or a few - at different time, or at the same time). And eventually we married one (or twice or more).
When I was an executive, I used to wonder why I hadn't been promoted despite having years of experience & expertise. When I had subordinates, I started to realise I have different sets of expectation on them before I think they deserved to be promoted.
When I was single, I did not like kids, or I couldn't associated with them. Kids didn't like me either, I think they have superb antennas, they could sense who are more approachable. When it was time to settle down, I somehow determined that I must have at least one kid, or I would rather not to marry the man who doesn't want any. And when I have my own kid, I just love him so much and so natually that I cannot explain why I love kid.
Sometime we don't know (or don't want), not because we are ignorant. It's because we are not there to see yet.
